Moving Onward

I’m sure everybody has had a tough year in 2019. I know that my father passed away in September, which was a brutal occurrence for me. But now it’s December, and we can celebrate the waning of this period. Lots of things have occurred, but we can set most of it behind us and look towards a hopefully bright future.

I’m listening to Feist on a high-quality speaker that a cousin provided for me at my wedding. And I know my father; he never took any time to reach out to many other people. He taught me the meaning of high-quality music, of making the music yourself, and what it means to the inside of your heart. He was the first person who introduced me to the Doors, the first to show me an R-rated film, the first person to introduce me to the difference between good and evil.

I remember the time he told me about opposites. You can still go to this site; it is on the corner of a street near Dundee Road in Northbrook. I recall the day but not the season; the skies were grey, but it’s hard to say if it was because it was spring or fall. But my dad asked if I knew what opposites were.

I remember saying No, probably toddling around in my little neon blue and red jacket. I don’t know what he was thinking at the time, but he explained that in the way zero and one were opposed, there was a differential between geese and gander, between cat and mouse, between goodness and evil. It must have hit my brain like a ton of bricks, but it seems that my brain is used to being struck by heavy loads. I nodded and toddled on. He walked beside.

Now that he’s gone, I’ve spent a lot more of my time thinking about the special memories that I shared with the old man. Not many related to my current specialty, but I’m glad that he knew me when he did. And while there were plenty of times I was an absolute shit towards him, one can at least admit that we had a give and take. And now, nobody can take that from me.

I’m frustrated, that’s to be sure. I will never have the chance to reach out to him as a person again. But still, there are the special moments we had together when I was young and he was able to teach me lessons that stuck with me for the rest of my life.

The old man taught me the importance of listening to loud music on a good stereo. And I’m doing it now.

Love you all. Good night.