in 2019, I started seeing a therapist. I did because, in my wife's words, I was getting out of control. She wasn't wrong. I had been abusing myself. Getting into fits of rage over nothing. I hated my job, feeling like everything that I attempted was turning into an abortive failure. So I had to get out of the house and talk with someone.
Things didn't work out with that particular professional, largely due to the influence of COVID and the general decline in anybody seeing anybody at all anymore. But I got a new guy who pointed me in the direction of actually writing down and defining my goals so that I have a set of standard that I can compare my behavior against. And it's not a bad thing to do; this way you aren't being constantly run by your thoughts without knowing what they actually are. The writing of these things produces a mental clarity for the writer: when you see what someone (even yourself) has written down, you get a better idea for who they are.
I'm making this blog post, at least on one level, as a means of getting some stuff written. I'm trying to make that into more of a habit, even if it's one that I stumble over and have to pick up again. But that's the way all habits are made. That's the way all skills are learned. As Knuth quotes in The Art of Computer Science, pt. 1,
Practice yourself, for heaven's sake, in little things;
and thence proceed to greater
~Epictetus, Discourses IV
With that in mind, I'm going to try and read the entirety of Knuth's 1st book. We'll start with the first one and then, like I've done with dozens of other (less gnarly) passages, I'll continue into the second and third portions. Apparently a fourth section is currently under construction: I duly hope Don finishes it before I finish the first couple of reads.
Beyond that, I'm looking to achieve some kind of K8s or AWS certifications in the next five months. June seems like a reasonably distanced time for these things. Amazon has already recived my order for the O'Reilly CKAD Study Guide and they ought to be sending an AWS one in due time. Two years ago, I tried and failed at an AWS Administrator exam. This time, I'm actually going to finish the study guide instead of throwing myself in front of the screen raw.
So, there's three books to devour. That still leaves the seven or so that I purchased over the last few years to chew on. Not that anybody's career was written in ten books, unless they were some kind of exegitical lay priest. My long-term hope is that someday I can write one or two of these texts for the world at large. Hell, not everybody can write this good.
As a tertiary update, I've locked myself out of Instagram, so I'll try and post meanintful pictures here. Ghost's engine can certainly handle it.